Q: I really want to let my manager know how much I appreciate their knowledge and expertise and especially their guidance, but I don’t want to come across as a “suck up.” I saw in the media there is something called Boss’s Day, but that doesn’t seem like the right way to let them know how much I value them. I just need some help to find the appropriate way to let them know I appreciate them. 

A: This is such a tricky issue, and I’m glad you’ve raised it. The most important thing in this discussion is something most employees never think about—managers are people, and like their staff, they also want to be appreciated and have their contributions acknowledged.

The right way to begin here is to think about what you could say or do that is honest and comes from your heart. It is easy to see how a kind gesture to a manager could be interpreted as you attempting to suck up, but with some careful thought, I bet you can find a way to genuinely thank them.

Tie your appreciation to something specific that your manager did that had a special impact on you and your work. For example, were you stuck at a particular point in a project and your manager gave you advice and insight to finish the work? What a great time to send them a note or message with personal thanks and say how much you value them.

While I understand the idea of a Boss’s Day complete with ideas for cards and gifts, if you decide you want to go that route, find some colleagues to go in on it with you. That way, your manager is acknowledged by the group, and it will feel less like you are all asking for favors. If you decide to make Boss’s Day a big deal in your department, think about a gift that would be appreciated by your manager.

Remember that managers are human beings and being thanked is highly motivational to most of us. Don’t wait until next year to acknowledge your manager’s value to you. Say thanks often and consider sending a special note when the occasion is right. Believe me—your manager will be grateful.